Wizarding Blind Date
by Her Royal Goddess
Summary: The wizarding world had finally adapted muggle technology with magic and now every witch or wizard has a magical tv set in their living room,and the show that was currently topping the ratings chart was called Wizarding Blind Date. revamped and updated
1. Big Bad Wolf

**Wizarding Blind Date**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing all rights and accolades belong to J K Rowling, she is only letting me borrow these wonderful characters.**

Authors note: Please bear with me guys this is my first attempt at fan fiction even though I've read many on line, this particular plot sneaked up on me while I was waiting for the bus for work and has stubbornly refused to go away ever since, so here is my clumsy attempt at what you guys do so well.

This story is set several yrs after the Golden trio defeated Voldemort (I've chosen to ignore most of DH just because my story works better that way and I could never visualize Hermione putting up with Ron after Hogwarts). I'm going to give you all my vision of where the characters are just to get you up to speed with the story.

Hermione: has been the transfiguration teacher for 3 yrs at Hogwarts, her relationship with Ron failed after the war because he wanted her to become like Molly and hated the idea of her doing her apprentice ship with Minerva, needless to say Hermione chose learning over relationships and has since been single, so after losing a bet with Harry and Draco on one of their monthly drinking sessions she ends up having to submit an application to Wizarding Blind Date to find her a hot man and some even hotter sex.

Remus: went back to Hogwarts as the DADA teacher after the war to try and get over the death of Tonks who died trying while rescuing Harry from the Dursleys, it helped immensely when his lifelong friend and fellow marauder Sirius came back from the veil and they and Severus became the wizarding worlds hottest bachelors.

Sirius: no one really understands how he managed to come back from the veil he was found a couple of days after the war wandering through the MOM absolutely starkers demanding to be allowed to see the Minister, the MOM gave him a full pardon and compensated him £500,000 galleons for his time in Azkaban, he now works as a auror along with Harry.

Severus: although he was bitten by Nagini, the deadly magical venom that was coursing through his veins racing towards his heart immediately vanished when Neville chopped it's head off saving his life, during the aftermath when his story was told he was cleared of any war crimes and was given a order of merlin first class, he decided that he actually liked teaching so he went back to teach potions after a yrs sabbatical in Hawaii to rediscover himself, on his return he finally became good friends with Remus and Sirius after putting aside childish grudges .

Harry & Draco: have been together for a couple of yrs and have a drinking session with Hermione every month and their main goal in life is to get her dating again.

Ron & Ginny: were both signed by an international Quidditch team as seeker and keeper which keeps them out of the country for long spells at a time but are still friends with the gang

Fred & George: have expanded WWW into Hogsmeade and are making a lot of money off the students at Hogwarts.

Sorry about the rambling the story is coming up now.

Prologue

The wizarding world had finally adapted muggle technology with magic and now every witch or wizard has a magical television set in their living room , and the show that was currently topping the ratings chart was called Wizarding Blind Date (a/n based on the muggle show blind date).

Chapter 1

Hermione looked at the wizarding blind date application form that Draco's eagle owl had just dropped off and sighed, she couldn't believe that she'd have to give 3 full and complete descriptions of her fantasies with 3 different people leaving out their true names so after a couple of glasses of chardonnay and some double chocolate cake and cream she got out her quill and started to write her favorite fantasy involving Remus Lupin.

Remus's Fantasy.

(based loosely on little red riding hood)

I am wandering near the forbidden forest heading for my favorite picnic spot by the waterfall when I spot him lounging against a tree looking at me as though I'm his lunch.

"Hello Red" he says smiling a wolfish grin, my stomach is filled with butterflies.

"Hi Mooney hope you're hungry I've brought absolutely loads today."

"Red I can honestly say I'm famished, I hope you taste as good as you look."

Heavenly Merlin did I just hear him right he wants to taste me?, as I look at him with my mouth slightly open he turns and gives me a wink while setting the picnic basket up "Why Mooney what big eyes you have" I couldn't resist saying.

"All the better to see your delectable body my dear" came the reply bringing a warm dampness to my knickers.

After the blanket had been laid I found my self staring at his earlobes wondering what it would be like to suck and nibble on them, out of nowhere I felt my self saying "Why Mooney what deliciously edible earlobes you have"

He whispered in my ear " All the better to hear you screaming my name as I make you cum again and again my dear" his breath tickled my ear as he slowly and gently laid kisses along my jaw and nipping at my neck, he pulls down my vest top and removes my bra before lowering his head and starts to suck my nipples all coherent thought leaves my head as that tongue does wonderful things to me. I go to kiss him back when he growls at me "Oh no you don't little red I'm in control you will surrender to me" and with that he rips my knickers off from under my mini skirt bringing them up to his nose inhaling deeply my arousal that his words have caused.

As I lay there watching him with my legs spread and my cunt glistening wet he grins at me with that oh so sexy wolfish grin of his. "Why Mooney what a Talented mouth you have" hoping that he will use it, my orgasm was building intensely and I needed release.

"All the better to EAT you with my dear" his mouth coming down and sucking on my clit, nibbling, licking, blowing while his fingers plunged in and out of me.

"Sweet Merlin" I gasped my body writhing and arching under him like a puppet on a string and him the puppet master suddenly with a scream I grab his head and shove it into my cunt as I cum harder, faster and wetter than the waterfall behind us, he just kept on drinking me dry as if he were a thirsty man at a desert oasis.

Afterwards while we were tidying up he turns to me and smirks " I was right you do taste as good as you look"and vanishes into the trees.

Hermione could feel her arousal building as she wrote this fantasy down when she'd finished she contemplated masturbating to relieve it but deciding against as she still had two more fantasies to write, pouring some more wine she pulled out some more parchment and got started on the next.


	2. Slippery When Wet

**Wizarding Blind Date**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing all rights and accolades belong to J K Rowling, she is only letting me borrow these wonderful characters.**

Authors note: Please bear with me guys this is my first attempt at fan fiction even though I've read many on line, this particular plot sneaked up on me while I was waiting for the bus for work and has stubbornly refused to go away ever since, so here is my clumsy attempt at what you guys do so well.

_Hermione could feel her arousal building as she wrote this fantasy down when she'd finished she contemplated masturbating to relieve it but deciding against as she still had two more fantasies to write, pouring some more wine she pulled out some more parchment and got started on the next._

Chapter 2: Dream Machine

I am walking home from the book shop when a big gleaming black motorbike pulls up along side me it's powerful engine purring softly. As I turn and watch the rider remove his black helmet I smile and say "Hello handsome, that's an impressive bit of equipment you have between your legs."

The blue eyed rider smirked "Would you like a ride home kitten?."

I replied "I would love to ride you home" licking my lips as I run my gaze over his well toned and muscular body clad in tight black button up jeans and an even tighter black t-shirt that showed off a chest just begging to be touched, and with that thought in mind I swung my leg over the bike running my hands over that gorgeous chest my nails lightly grazing his now erect nipples, as I wrapped my arms around him I make sure that my breasts are pressed firmly against his back.

"Are you ready for the ride of your life kitten?" he says as starts up the powerful engine the vibrations going straight to my core leaving me with slightly damp knickers, oh yes I thought I'm most definitely ready.

Just before we get home we are caught in a torrential downpour leaving us completely soaked through to our skin so when we arrive at the house I grab him by the hand and drag him up to the bathroom both of us laughing at the trail of water we're leaving through out the house.

When we reach the bathroom I turn on the shower and strip all my clothes off with him watching me his eyes darkening with lust, I step under the hot running water groaning with pleasure I watch as it makes his erection even harder it's outline straining to be released from it's tight confines, as I rub shower gel over my breasts tweaking my nipples I watch him undress he pulls off his wet t-shirt and begins to undo his button up Levis one by one teasing me.

"God I love button up jeans" Hermione thought as she stopped writing to refill her glass of Chardonnay and some chocolate to suck on as she went back to finish her fantasy.

When he'd finally undone the last button his enormous cock sprang free, as soon as he'd kicked his jeans off I pull him in to the shower kissing him passionately our tongues wrestling for dominance his hands are playing with my breasts just like I had done earlier and mine were grabbing his gorgeous firm arse squeezing it pulling him even closer to me, I moan as he starts playing with my dripping wet pussy his fingers pumping in and out of me bringing me closer and closer to my release.

"Cum for me Kitten" he growls softly flicking his fingers forward my body tightens and suddenly explodes around his fingers, as I recover he brings his fingers to his mouth and licks them clean I almost cum again from the sight.

Suddenly he lifts me up and slams me against the wall of the shower my legs automatically wrapping around his waist he enters me with enough force to take my breath away "Sweet Merlin" I moan this man was talented, he keeps pumping in and out.

"Kitten you are so hot and tight this must be what heaven feels like" he growled.

I could feel my orgasm building with such force I shout "Oh god I'm going to cum, cum with me please"

"With pleasure kitten"he said.

He thrust hard into me a couple more times slamming me against the wall, after reaching orgasm at the same time our bodies slid down the shower wall both of us sated and happy and utterly knackered. I look at the gorgeous sexy man across from me in the shower and say "Thanks for the ride handsome."

He just grins "Anytime kitten, anytime."

Hermione put her quill down and stretched and realizing that she'd finished the bottle of chardonnay she went and got another out of the fridge as she took the cork out she started thinking about what she should write for her last fantasy, but the only thing that was springing to mind was a recurring dream that she'd had ever since she was a sixth yr at Hogwarts, it wasn't a fantasy but it was one of her favorite dreams "Sod it" she said loudly to herself "I don't care if it is a dream it's going to have to do" so she poured another glass, grabbed some more chocolate and went back to the sofa to write the last fantasy.

A/N

I will explain more about the show Wizarding Blind Date in upcoming chapters, so please bear with me, if you have any questions or are not happy about something please review I will answer any and all questions.

p.s. If Hermione seemed a little ooc and sexually aggressive towards Sirius it's because she sees him as a bit of a playboy and as it was her fantasy she wanted to be the one in control.


	3. Goblin King

**Wizarding Blind Date**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing all rights and accolades for H P belong to J K Rowling, she is only letting me borrow these wonderful characters, neither do I own the characters of Labyrinth as it belongs to Jim Henson or David Bowie which is a shame because I would love a Snape/Jareth sandwich. **

**(David Bowie was my 1st ever crush I don't remember how old I was the 1st time I watched the Labyrinth I just remember being fascinated by those tight trousers and not understanding why Sarah turned him down, I mean honestly who in their right mind would turn David/Jareth down) **

Authors note: Please bear with me guys this is my first attempt at fan fiction even though I've read many on line, this particular plot sneaked up on me while I was waiting for the bus for work and has stubbornly refused to go away ever since, so here is my clumsy attempt at what you guys do so well.

_Hermione put her quill down and stretched and realizing that she'd finished the bottle of chardonnay she went and got another out of the fridge as she took the cork out she started thinking about what she should write for her last fantasy, but the only thing that was springing to mind was a recurring dream that she'd had ever since she was a sixth yr at Hogwarts, it wasn't a fantasy but it was one of her favorite dreams "Sod it" she said loudly to herself "I don't care if it is a dream it's going to have to do" so she poured another glass, grabbed some more chocolate and went back to the sofa to write the last fantasy._

Chapter 3 Goblin King _(while reading the ball scene it helps if you imagine the song WHILE THE WORLD FALLS DOWN playing throughout here's the link for you tube_

http: / / w ww. Youtube .com /watch? v=Vppu D1St8Ec_)_

She sat down, picked up her quill and thought back to when she'd first had this particular dream it was back in her 6th yr while she was stopping at Grimwald place, after a particularly intense order meeting with professor Snape she had gone up to her room and put one of her all time favorite films on her portable dvd player it was the Labyrinth with a very sexy David Bowie as the Goblin King she had just gotten up to the masquerade ball when she'd fallen asleep and this is where her dream picked up. (although instead of the sexy David Bowie playing Jareth the Goblin King that role goes to our favorite if not equally sexy potions teacher Severus Snape) .

I find myself in a big ballroom wearing a gorgeous dress surrounded by people in funny looking masks, when I look across the room I see him standing there watching me, he is wearing a long midnight blue jacket, white shirt and cravat and the most sinfully tight trousers I have ever seen, he slowly removes his mask, heaven help me the way he looks at me with those deep dark mesmerizing eyes it makes my head spin and my knees feel week. As I watch him he suddenly disappears from my sight I turn frantically looking for him around the ballroom, I can feel him watching me his eyes caressing my body, it's as if he is stalking me down, like I am the helpless prey for him the powerful hungry predator.

Our eyes met across the crowded dance floor, he walked towards me never breaking eye contact when our hands touched it was like he had electricity in his palms and a shock went right through me touching my core, we started sailing across the dance floor with him singing along to the song that's playing "_and I'll be there for you till the world falls down." I_t's all I can do is hold on to him as he spins me around the floor the lust and hunger in his dark eyes becoming more and more obvious, the butterflies in my stomach seem to be multiplying by the millions.

I look around at the other dancers, they just seem to be staring at us I look back at him and he just smiles at me in that very sexy, very predatory way of his and I know have to escape away from him. I wrench my self out of his arms and push my way through the dancers to find myself in front of a mirrored wall and as I look in it I see him standing where I'd left him, he's just staring at me with such sad longing n his eyes as if he can't believe what I'd just done, I pick up a chair and throw it at the mirror in my desperation to get away, every thing just seems to drift away as if I was in a dream bubble that had just burst .

The thing I know is that I'm with my friends Ludo, Hoggle, Sir Didymus and his valiant steed Ambrosius entering the Goblin Kings castle _(a/n I imagined Ron as Ludo, Ginny as Hoggle, Neville as Sir Didymus and Crookshanks as Ambrosius, just a humorous thought on my part)_ they try to follow me further into the castle so I have to tell them to wait for me as it is my fight and I must face the Goblin King on my own " Good bye my friends" I say.

"Take care Hermione" they call out to me as I start to search the castle for my baby brother Harry.

After many long minutes searching the castle I come across a room reminiscent of M C Escher's Relativity I rush to the top of a flight of stairs looking for Harry. I stop, I can feel the Goblin Kings presence close to me, hear his seductive voice whispering in my ears

"_HOW YOU'VE TURNED MY WORLD ,__YOU PRECIOUS THING ,__YOU STARVE AND NEAR EXHAUST ME ,__. __EVERYTHING I'VE DONE, I'VE DONE FOR YOU, I MOVE THE STARS FOR NO ONE, YOU'VE RUN SO LONG, YOU'VE RUN SO FAR"_

Suddenly I see him in all his dark mysterious, cruel but incredibly sexy manliness, he stalks towards me with one of his crystals in his hands,

" _YOUR EYES CAN BE SO CRUEL, JUST AS I CAN BE SO CRUEL, THOUGH I DO BELIEVE IN YOU" _

Then he as he turns and throws the crystal towards the far set of stairs I finally spot Harry, "Harry" I shout out starting to run towards him

"_LIVE WITH OUT YOUR SUNLIGHT, LOVE WITHOUT YOUR HEARTBEAT, I...I CAN'T LIVE WITHIN YOU"._

I run up and down the stairs looking for a way to reach Harry never getting any nearer to him, when I look over and see him sitting on the edge of a round hole and I panic "Harry" I shout again but he doesn't seem to hear me.

I look again at the big drop between me and Harry taking a deep breath and a huge leap of faith I jump off the edge as I fall I realize something strange is happening to the world around me like time is stopping and eventually I land on the floor.

As I look around me I see him step forward out of the shadows looking like a dark avenging angel, merciful heaven that man is too sexy for his own good I just want to run up to him, kiss him senseless and have him take me up against the castle walls hard and fast.

"STOP IT" I tell myself "Remember your here for Harry", with that thought I tell him to give me the child.

"Hermione beware... I have been generous up till now but I can be cruel" Jareth said in that seductive voice of his.

"Generous!" I shouted "What have you done that's generous?"

His black eyes glittered dangerously as he answered "Everything!, everything that you wanted I have done. You ask that the child be taken, so I took him. You cowered before me I was frightening". His silky steel voice caressing my senses like velvet, "I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me. Isn't that generous? ".

As I look at him long forgotten words come back to me as I step forwards and repeat the words my confidence starts to increase "Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the goblin city, for my will is as strong as yours and my..."

"STOP!, WAIT!" he shouted "Look at what I am offering you … your dreams" he offers me a crystal with images shimmering across the surface.

"Kingdom is great" continuing to walk towards him I struggle to remember the next line.

Jareth pleads with me again "I ask for so little, just let me rule you and you can have everything you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave"

His hypnotic voice was beginning to make me change my mind about rescuing Harry, it would be so easy to give in to temptation and become his queen I give him a long look up and down taking in the long black silky hair, those dark mesmerizing eyes, my eyes flicking over those soft lips that I just want to claim then slowly moving down his lean but muscular torso and finally I come to his thighs that are encased in the tightest pair of soft black suede trousers I have ever seen showing off that incredible arse of his.

Sweet Merlin I just want to bite it I shake my self mentally "Got to save Harry" I repeat to myself, as I finally remember the last lines the world fades away and I wake up.

Hermione finally finished writing her dream, putting her quill down she stood up stretching her cramped back and finger muscles, when she had gone over everything a million and one times checking for any errors she rolled up the 3 parchments so that Hedwig who Harry had graciously allowed her to borrow could deliver them to the WTN (Wizarding Television Network) in time for tomorrows deadline, she washed her wine glass in the sink and finally trudged along the hall to her bedroom ready for a good nights sleep and some very pleasant dreams.

A/N

I know I'm sorry that there aren't any Severus lemons but please bear with me there will be more to come in later chapters.

Please read and review I will reply to all messages. Xx

P.S many thanks and lots of chocolate to Ldeetz and Watin77 for their kind reviews and helpful advice as such I was able to spot things I'd


	4. The Dating Cup

**Wizarding Blind Date**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing all rights and accolades belong to J K Rowling, she is only letting me borrow these wonderful characters.**

**A/N: **This is just going to be a short chapter to explain a little about the rules of Wizarding Blind Date, if you feel I haven't explained something fully or that I've made a hash of it or even better that you love it please review I will answer any messages and reviews. Please enjoy XX

Chapter 4: The dating cup

Elizabeth Darcy (the CEO of WTN) was just getting ready to leave for the evening when a snowy white owl tapped on her window with some mail for her, she removed the parchments from his talons and gave the handsome bird some owl treats before it took off again into the night.

She sat back down in her luxury leather chair and proceeded to read Hermione's application for her number one rating show Wizarding Blind Date "Oh my" she thought mentally fanning herself "I wonder why Miss Granger is coming on the show if she's having fantasies like these, "Not that I'm complaining this is going to send the viewing figures through the roof".

She went over to the large wooden cabinet in the corner and after a minute of two of some complex wand waving and some strange incantations the cupboard unlocked, nobody but her knew the correct combination to this cupboard and for good reason, inside this cupboard resided the one, the only wizarding blind dates matching cup.

Now although the Matching cup was similar to both the Sorting Hat and the Tri wizard cup it was ultimately one of a kind and how it works is that when Elizabeth places the parchment with the fantasy written on it inside the cup it magically goes through the Ministry of Magics (MOM) data base of single witches and wizards and finds the one that best fits that particular fantasy, Then that witch or wizard is sent a letter from the network informing them that they have to appear on the show otherwise they face a 6 month stay in Azkaban. (The MOM decreed that this was to help increase the number of marriages and births in the wizarding world which was at a all time low since before the return of Voldemort, after the initial outcry the wizarding community got used to the idea and the rest as they say is history.)

Elizabeth placed the Dating cup in the middle of her large oak desk and picked up the papers with Hermione's fantasies written on them and placed them inside the cup, almost instantaneously the cup began to smoke and then it popped a thin strip of parchment out with the name REMUS LUPIN on it, as she placed it on her desk the next name popped out SIRIUS BLACK. Elizabeth smiled Miss Granger was a lucky girl indeed if she had not just one but two of the original Marauders to choose from (Elizabeth had been in the same year as them in Hogwarts but even though the Hat had placed her in Ravenclaw she and quite a few of her friends had a very big crush on Remus the quiet but devilishly handsome Gryffindor bookworm back in their seventh year). While she had been reminiscing about Hogwarts the third and final piece of paper had popped out and was waiting in her hand for her to read the name SEVERUS SNAPE.

"It would seem that the famous Miss Granger has a thing for sexy older men" Elizabeth mused "I wonder who she'll pick, I know which I'd pick if I was given a choice out of the three men" she waved her wand and three nearly identical letters appeared on her desk picking them up she made her way over to the networks owlery.

When she got there she chose a small tawny owl and said "Give this letter to a Mr Sirius Black currently residing at 12 Grimwald place, London" and with a little nod of it's fluffy head to show it had understood the owl flew off into the night, she then went over to her own personal owl (a majestic looking eagle owl called Apollo), "I have a slightly bigger task for you old friend" she said giving the owl a treat "I need you to deliver two letters to the same place but to different people, one is to go to a Mr Remus Lupin DADA teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and the other is to go to a Mr Severus Snape Potions Master also at Hogwarts" the owl hooted softly and set off to complete his task, Elizabeth sighed, kicked off her shoes and apparated home to bed.

A/N:

Please review and if anyone can tell me where I got the CEOs name from I will send cyber hugs and chocolate, hopefully I will have the next chapter up in a couple of hours as I already have the rough draft written. (what can I say the plot bunnies ran wild while I was at work which caused my boss to think I was slightly mad as I stood there laughing at the plot lines running through my head)

Thanks for reading XX


	5. The Postal Owl Cometh

**Wizarding Blind Date**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing all rights and accolades belong to J K Rowling, she is only letting me borrow these wonderful characters.**

A/N:

So here it is the chapter that has been bugging me at work for the last couple of days, The men find out that they have to go on the show, Hermione finds accidentally out who her potential dates are going to be and poor Harry and Draco get rudely awoken by a very mad Hermione...to find out more please keep reading. XX

Chapter 5: The Postal Owl Cometh

Remus was sat waiting for Severus in the Great hall having breakfast when a Large eagle owl flew in and dropped a letter in front of him, Remus thanked the owl by giving it some of his bacon and watching it fly off before opening the letter up, as he began to read his mouth dropped open and his eyes quickly reread what was written

_Dear Mr Lupin,_

_It is our great pleasure to announce that your name has been pulled out of the Dating Cup here at WTN, you are required to appear at the Wizarding Blind Date studios here at WTN in exactly one week. Failure to comply will result in a mandatory 6 month stay in Azkaban by order of the Minister Of Magic._

_I look forward to seeing you soon._

_Kind Regards_

_Elizabeth Darcy_

_CEO of the Wizarding Television Network_

Remus was gobsmacked to say the least, he just sat there staring at the letter when all of a sudden Severus stormed in holding what looked like a letter similar to his

"You are not going to believe the letter I have just received" he fumed.

Remus looked at his friend and said "Sev mate, I do believe that the letter that you have just received says that you have to go to the WTN studios in 2 days so you can take part in that blasted TV show Wizarding Blind Date!".

Severus looked shocked then skeptical "How on earth did you know that? unless" it finally dawned on him while looking at the letter in Remus's hands "you got a letter too."

Remus waved the letter and grimaced "Why don't you come and join me in my quarters and I'll make us a decent cup of tea,bloody ministry" he growled "always sticking their noses in where it's not wanted."

The two men left the hall via the main doors as it was nearer to Remus's room, so neither of them saw Hermione hiding in a alcove just inside the teachers entrance with her hand clamped firmly over mouth and her eyes wide with shock.

"Oh sweet Merlin help me" she thought "that bloody cup figured out who my fantasies were about" and then it clicked "bloody hell that means Sirius is going to get a letter too" so she ran to her room and quickly fire called Harry.

Severus was pacing round Remus's room loudly berating the ministry, the show and the stupid female who would be asking the questions, while Remus busied himself making a pot of tea for them both.

Suddenly Sirius popped his head in the fire and on seeing both men in the room he said "Oh good you're both here, Remus break out the nice chocolate biscuits that I know you hide at the back of your cupboard because you're going to need them after I tell you about whats happened to me this morning" he pulled his head back out of the fire, within moments he'd stepped through brushed the soot off his black leather jacket and pinched Remus's cup of tea out of his hand before lounging on Remus's brown leather sofa.

"Well aren't you going to ask what happened to me this morning" he inquired before taking a swig of the tea he'd pilfered and then quickly spitting it out, "Good Lord Mooney! do you want tea with this liquid sugar?"

Both Severus and Remus laughed at him, "Serves you right Pads, maybe next time you'll wait until you're offered a drink before nicking mine" retorted Remus "And before you get your knickers in a twist I bet you a bottle of Rosemerta's best mead that I can guess what your news is".

Sirius laughed seeming very sure of himself "Mooney old friend, make it a bottle of Ogden's finest and you have yourself a bet."

Remus exchanged a sly look with Severus "Fine, but if I guess correctly you owe me and Sev a bottle each."

"Mooney get your galleons at the ready as you are going down, there is not a chance in hell that you'll get this" Sirius told him with a smug look.

Remus grinned his best wolfish grin (he hadn't been a marauder for nothing), he grabbed a glass bowl, turned it upside down and pretended to be Sybil Trelawny in a trance "I see an owl delivering a letter and in that letter you have been commanded to go to the WTN studios to take part in a show, hold on it's a little fuzzy right now" he waved his hands over the glass bowl "That's better my inner eye has cleared now" in the background Severus was having to hold his sides he was laughing that much, Remus ignored him and continued on with his impression "I forsee that you will be a contestant on the show Wizarding Blind Date in one weeks time".

Sirius looked dumbstruck "How in hell did you know that Mooney? Unless Sybil's been rubbing off on you or should I say rubbing you off" he smirked, Severus choked on his tea with laughter.

"Don't be bloody disgusting Pads, I wouldn't touch Sybil with Sev's dick let alone mine! And for your info I know about the letter because we got one too" He grinned at his best friend "And now Pads old mate you owe us both a bottle of Ogdens finest, you can owl them over later because I know you have a crate of it stashed away in your cellar".

When Severus had finally recovered from his laughing fit he looked at his friends and said "Do you realize what this means?"

The other two looked at him puzzled "what are you going on about Sev?" asked Sirius.

"Well apparently there's a witch out there who has a thing for each of us, obviously I'm the better choice" Sev smirked "I mean why have a mutt or a mangy wolf when you can have a lean mean Slytherin love machine like me at your fingertips."

Remus laughed at him "Get your head out of your arse Sev, I'm the alpha male here and you know that the ladies love a leader of the pack"

"Bollocks!" said Sirius "Once I treat a lucky witch to some 'Siriuslovin' they're ruined for everyone else".

The three men spent a good five minutes arguing about their sexual prowess, "I know how to resolve this" said Severus "Whoever gets chosen by the witch on the show gets to choose the losers, meaning you two morons outfits for the minister's next charity masquerade ball, and I have it on good authority that the next theme is film characters, just imagine the fun I could have with you two or are you chicken?".

"You're on Sev" replied Remus.

"Yep I'm in and you'd best get used to losing now because I think that you two would look quite sweet as Beauty and the Beast, although I don't know who'd be Beauty as your both ugly gits"came the answer from Sirius.

"Sod off Pads" Remus shot back at him.

Severus was stood by Remus door watching the two men arguing like a couple of school girls and rolled his eyes before giving an ear splitting whistle to get their attention "Come on you bloody pansies if we hurry we might be able to catch some late breakfast in the great hall and if you're really lucky Mooney Sybil might be there" and with that he blew Remus a kiss and sauntered out of the door.

"Shut up Pads!" Remus told Sirius who was laughing at him because he'd gone bright red "And hurry up before Sev eats all the bacon" he shoved Sirius out of the door who waited while Remus put the wards up and then both proceeded to the great hall with much haste.

A/N

Ok my lovelies, I hoped you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it, me and their egos what are they like? Any way please read and review. XX

P.S I first read the term 'Siriuslovin' and loved the sound of it (who wouldn't want some of that?) in a fanfiction story but for the life of me I can't remember which one, so who ever you are who thought up this brilliant term thank you.


	6. Revelations

**Wizarding Blind Date**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing all rights and accolades belong to J K Rowling, she is only letting me borrow these wonderful characters.**

**A/N**

This chapter was previously written to be included in the previous one, but I felt it made the chapter too long so I split it into two so your reading enjoyment isn't lessoned.

Please read and review, many thanks XX

Previously

"_Oh sweet Merlin help me" she thought "That bloody cup figured out who my fantasies were about" and then it clicked "Bloody hell that means Sirius is going to get a letter too" so she ran to her room and quickly fire called Harry._

Chapter 6: Revelations

"HARRY JAMES POTTER, LEAVE DRACO ALONE, GET YOUR SKINNY WHITE ARSE OUT OF BED, PUT SOME EFFING CLOTHES ON AND GET TO THIS FIRE RIGHT NOW!, IN THAT BLOODY ORDER!" she shouted so that the sleeping men could hear her upstairs in their room.

Harry and Draco both looking sleepy and thoroughly shagged out, finally ambled into the living room 10 minutes later wearing matching black silk pajama bottoms.

"Sweet merciful Merlin Hermione, do you know what time it is?" Draco moaned as he went and lounged on his and Harry's big black squishy sofa.

"Yes I do!" she snapped "and now thanks to losing that stupid idiotic bet with you two my life is completely and utterly ruined".

"Look sweetie why don't you floo over and we can talk it over tea and toast like civilized witches and wizards" Harry said in a soothing tone of voice.

Hermione sighed, stood up and grabbed a handful of floo powder "Potter residence London" she said stepping into the fire. In the blink of an eye she found herself in Harry and Draco's living room

she kicked off her shoes and called up on the sofa next to Draco.

Harry handed her a mug of her favorite tea and says "Okay honey bun spill it how is your life ruined?, you're only going on a dating show for Merlin's sake".

She sipped her tea and started to tell them her sorry tale "For them to choose your ideal dates you have to submit 3 of your deepest fantasies, and as it turns out I know that two of the men that I fantasize about have received a summons to appear on the show so I'm not holding my breath that the third one didn't receive a summons either."

Draco snickered while Harry hid a smile behind his cup of tea "How do you know?" he asked "I thought that the interviewer and the potential dates know nothing of each others identities even going so far as to mask their voices during the show in case one side recognizes the other and blows the game.

Hermione hung her head so that her soft brown curly hair could hide her flaming hot face and whispered "Because Harry I live with two of them at Hogwarts."

The room was filled with the sound of Draco laughing "I knew you had a kinky side to you Hermy but having fantasies about Hagrid and Flitwick that takes the biscuit, unless that kinky old brain of yours has a thing for Filch in a Broom closet" he said falling on the floor laughing his ass off "is Mrs Norris there too?".

"Piss off Draco! you're not funny" Hermione snapped "It's not Flitwick or Hagrid or even Filch" she shuddered at that horrific thought "You disgusting little perv."

Draco stuck his tongue out earning him a glare from both Harry and Hermione.

"If you must know my fantasies involved Remus, Sirius and Severus what I don't understand is why it pulled their names out as I didn't actually use any names, well maybe I used Mooney but not many people know that it's Remus's nickname but I definitely didn't use Sev's or Sirius's."

"Why don't you tell us about your fantasies then and we can tell you if they that obvious or not" Harry interrupted her ramblings "Behave yourself" he told Draco who was pretending to be sick,

"Okay" said Hermione "But only if you both promise on the pain of having to sing the first two songs on karaoke night sober, not to reveal a word of this to anyone."

"We promise don't we Draco?" Harry asked him.

Draco rolled his eyes "Don't worry Mione, I won't breathe a word to anyone especially not my Godfather besides who wants to sing karaoke sober, where's the fun in that?".

So Hermione proceeded to tell them about all 3 fantasies, just lightly glossing over the one with Severus and when she'd finished Harry gave his opinion

"Well the first two are blatantly obvious, your little red riding hood fantasy is definitely Remus even with out the Mooney references, and come on hun, a man in black with a black motorbike is obviously Sirius."

Hermione groaned and buried her face in one of Draco's fluffy pillows "Oh God what it going to look like when it gets out that I've had fantasies about three older men, all members of the order and two of which are my work colleagues I'm never going to live this down".

Draco and Harry exchanged looks then Draco turned her to face him and looked her in the eyes "Mione love, don't worry about it most people think that the names are drawn randomly and if they do know that it's based off a persons fantasies what does it matter? It's perfectly normal to have fantasy's about people you know or are close to, and to let you in on a little secret of mine I too have had naughty thoughts about Remus and Sirius for older men they are damn hot" he winked at her " although I can't see your attraction for my godfather though."

Hermione was quick to speak "Oh how could you not Draco? that man is sex on a stick with those long elegant fingers, that lean muscular body, a voice that could melt ice and those dark mysterious eyes that a girl could get lost in and not want to be found ever again. Not to mention even with out all that his brilliant mind is a big turn on I just want to break through that cool, calm exterior and let loose the passionate man underneath that I know he hides, I want him to whisper sweet dirty nothings in my ears with that seductive voice of his..." suddenly it was like a light had gone off in her brain "Sweet Merlin" she thought "I'm in love with him."

Harry must have had the same brainwave as he told her quietly "You're in love with him hun and this is the perfect way to snag yourself a snarly potions professor"

"How?" Hermione asked.

Harry grinned at the other two "Well we have the advantage of knowing who the other contestants are going to be so all you have to do is to when they answer your questions is choose the one who give Severus type answers, we know they mask everyones voice on the show to make it a little harder for the contestants and this is the clever part, because even though their voices will be different you will recognize the style in which it is answered and therefore you'll have no problem identifying which is which" he sat back in his chair looking quite pleased with himself,

"You are a genius Harry, I knew there was a reason I was with you" Draco told him with a trademark Draco smirk on his lips.

"Well you learn something new every day and here I thought it was because I'm a wizard in the bedroom" harry replied dryly before pulling Draco off the couch and into his lap for a quick snog.

"Do you really think that this will work?" she asked hopefully "What if I choose him and he hates me or even worse I choose one of the others."

Draco butted in "Mione stop worrying! what will be will be, look it's still early why don't you go back to the castle get changed and meet us at the three broomsticks in about an hour for Brunch, our treat and then we can get to work on your three questions and yes we promise to keep quiet about everything."

Hermione stood up, smiled at her two favorite boys and wrapped them in a big bear hug "Thank you both for being the bestest friends a neurotic transfiguration teacher could ever hope to have" turning promptly she flooed back to the castle.

A/N

In my rough draft I hadn't planned on Harry and Draco snogging but they absolutely insisted that I write it in, how could I refuse those two when they give such convincing puppy dog eyes.

And though it's not written as soon as Hermione left Harry dragged Draco back upstairs to finish what they were doing before she interrupted them. (they wanted me to tell you *rolls eyes*)


	7. Plan of Attack

**Wizarding Blind Date**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing all rights and accolades belong to J K Rowling, she is only letting me borrow these wonderful characters, neither do I own the characters of Labyrinth as it belongs to Jim Henson or David Bowie which is a shame because I would love a Snape/Jareth sandwich. **

**A/N: **This chapter has given me a fair few headaches while writing it, I just couldn't get it to flow the way I wanted it to, hopefully I managed to make it work and you like this chapter. on the plus side the plot bunnies have given me ideas for two extra chapters that I hadn't planned on writing.

Please read and review and many thanks to all of you wonderful readers who have kept up with my story.

Previously: _Draco butted in "Mione stop worrying! what will be will be, look it's still early why don't you go back to the castle get changed and meet us at the Three Broomsticks in about an hour for Brunch, our treat and then we can get to work on your three questions and yes we promise to keep quiet about everything." _

_Hermione stood up, smiled at her two favorite boys and wrapped them in a big bear hug "thank you both for being the bestest friends a neurotic transfiguration teacher could ever hope to have" turning promptly she flooed back to the castle._

Chapter 7: Plan of Attack

_The Trio are sat in the Three Broomsticks discussing strategy over a late brunch._

"Right, so you've finally figured out that even though you've fantasized over all three men, Severus Snape my Godfather is the one you want to be with" Draco said getting straight to the point as usual before pausing to taking a bite of his extra crispy bacon.

Hermione nodded "How could I of been so blind, I mean his image overtook David Bowie's as Jareth the Goblin King in my Labyrinth dream and David Bowie is just a sex god in that film."

Harry nodded in agreement "I know exactly what you mean Mione, those pants must have been sprayed on and then when he says _Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave _it just gives me the shivers just thinking about it".

"What on earth are you two talking about?, who the bloody hell is David Bowie?, what is the Labyrinth? and here's the most important question, what does it all have to do with my Godfather?" demanded Draco.

Hermione and Harry exchanged looks and laughed "Oh Harry what have you been doing to this poor pure blooded wizard?, how could you not of shown him the pure sexual delight that is David Bowie as Jareth the Goblin King, shame on you!" she teased.

"Right Draco, the Labyrinth is a muggle film from the 80's, but I will introduce you to the delights of Jareth the uber sexy Goblin King another time, to cut a long story short I had my first crush watching that film, I absolutely fell in love with Jareth with his tight pants and leather boots. So one evening back in our sixth year after a particularly heavy order meeting where Sev was being an absolute arse as he was prone to be back then," both men smiled at this comment. " He had really pissed me off, so to relax I went to my room and put the film on my TV/VHS combi box that I'd brought from home to put in my room at Grimwald place. Any way I ended up falling asleep about 30 mins into the film and I started to dream about the Labyrinth, but instead of seeing David Bowie dressed as Jareth it was Snape and even though my dream seemed to follow the film all I wanted to do was throw Snape/Jareth down and do him right there on the castle floor".

Draco opened his mouth as if to speak but Hermione spoke over him "Now before you say this sounds like a standard hormonal teenagers dream it's not, because it's been a good eight years since I first had it and I still have it at least once a month, well at least I know why now, it was my subconscious telling me that I'm in love with Sev. But the thing is that after I wake up from having the dream I'm really fucking aroused, for instance after writing about my dream for the show last night I dreamed of him and then this morning as soon I saw him striding into the great hall, robes billowing like they used to .."

Harry smirked "It would seem old habits die hard my dear".

This seemingly innocuous statement earned him a fierce glare, the sender continued with her monologue "All I could think about was ripping his clothes off and having him then and there on the high table" she groaned "There's no hope for me, truly there isn't I'm only talking about him and I'm getting horny".

Draco took one of her hands in his and patted it "Don't you worry sweetie, we are going to help you bag that most elusive of prey the Hogwarts Potions Master aka The Greasy Bat of the dungeons" Hermione and Harry giggled at Draco who carried on "Now then mes amis, a good hunter knows his prey better than he knows his self and uses their strength and weaknesses against them. You get to ask three questions Mione, so you need to word them so that when one of them answers it you can tell who it is just by how they reply. For example you could say when I was at school my favorite lesson was potions because I had a huge crush on the teacher, what was your favorite and why? Then when the following answers came back Potions, Defense against the Dark Arts and Flying who would you say said which?".

Hermione snorted "that's pretty obvious Draco but they won't answer like that will they?".

"No but you've known Severus for the last 14 yrs and Remus and Sirius for the eleven. Most of these years you've lived in close proximity with at least two of them if not three. Harry you can back me up here, since the end of the war they've become really good mates but they still like to try and out do each other especially where witches are involved" he turned to Harry to confirm this fact.

"He's right you know sweetie" Harry told her "And you can bet your last galleon on the fact that at least one of them will of worked out that the witch on the show must at least fancy each of them a little bit, which I can guarantee will make them very competitive and would want the witch in question namely you to know who they are by any means necessary".

Hermione sat chewing a piece of bacon as she thought over what the guys had told her.

When Harry interrupted her musings "Come on Mione you can do this, you're the brightest witch of our age for Merlin's sake."

She smiled evilly at both of them "You're absolutely right, I can do this and the one, the only Severus Snape Potions Master extraordinaire had better watch out as I, Hermione Granger am hunting him down, and have him dead in my sights" she had said this a little too loudly and the other customers had turned in their seats to look at the trio, at which point she blushed and shrank back in her seat.

Harry and Draco applauded her little outburst and Harry asked her "So I presume you have a plan of action in that enormous brain of yours, I haven't seen you look this excited and sneaky since that whole SPEW episode back in school."

"Oh yes Harry, indeed I do" she grinned.

"Well spit it out woman, I'm not getting any younger you know" Draco butted in impatiently giving her a quick prod to prove his point.

She retaliated by sticking her tongue out at him "I think I've got the perfect first question, are you ready?" both men raised matching eyebrows as if to say get on with it woman. "Okay here goes, question number one I'm a big animal lover and my favorite species are cats, especially big jungle cats." Hermione's animagus form was a beautiful Bengal tiger named Durga after the Hindu goddess. "If you were a animal what would you be and why?".

"That's brilliant Mione, just the sort of thing we are on about" enthused Harry "Have you had any thoughts about numbers two and three?"

Draco piped up "I have, as you both know that all pure blood children are taught to dance as soon as they can walk and the fact that those three horn dogs love to strut their stuff on a Saturday night" all of them shuddered involuntarily as they remembered when the men question had pretended to be John Travolta on a 70's theme night in the Three Broomsticks a few months earlier.

"Sweet Merlin I wished I'd been obliviated that night so I wouldn't be able to remember it" Harry confided to his friends who readily agreed.

"Any way we digress" reminded Draco "As I was saying all three men like to dance and are proud of their dancing skills so I think that your next question should be this, I love to dance and like nothing more than getting hot and sweaty on the dance floor with a great dance partner because in my experience a great dance partner makes a great lover and after all dancing is just publicly sanctioned foreplay. If you could describe yourself as a dance what would it be and why?, well what do you think Mione?," he waved his hand in front of her face and clicked his fingers, "Hello earth to Mione".

She blinked and her eyes refocused on Draco's concerned face in front of her "Sorry love I was daydreaming about tangoing with Sev and damn it was HOT!" she fanned herself to emphasize her point,

Harry chuckled as Draco paled at that particular thought, "Mione, no offense but as much as I love you both and think that you'd make a great couple I really have no desire to hear about your sex life together" he informed her with his trademark smirk on his face.

Harry drained the last of his coffee and pushed his empty plate away "Okay Kiddo's, that's two questions down and one to go, but lets get a move shall we as I have the afternoon shift with Sirius today."

Hermione looked down at her watch and it read 11:50am "Oh shit! I promised Minerva that I'd meet her at 12 today regarding that ruddy Alumni Dinner and dance evening she insists on holding every year. I'll owl you with the final question tonight sweeties" then she stood up put her coat on, gave them both a hug and apparated back to Hogwarts for her meeting with the headmistress.

A/N: Okay my lovely readers, I have posted a poll on my profile regarding the name of Neville's band please pop along and have a vote, also I'm struggling to think of a third question so if you have any ideas please put it in a review or send it in a pm and the one I like the best will find it's way into the story.

Both Harry and Draco have asked me to remind you to please send a review as they make me write faster and the next chapter mostly involves them, snogging and sneakiness.

Many thanks for reading, XX


	8. Friendly Deception

**Wizarding Blind Date**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing all rights and accolades belong to J K Rowling, she is only letting me borrow these wonderful characters.**

**A/N: **Hello and welcome to chapter 8, this originally was meant to be a little paragraph on the end of the last chapter,but those ruddy plot bunnies went on a rampage and it became it's own chapter. Recently I was told by a friend that my story was too 'gay' (rolls eyes) the fact the it is a Hermione/Snape ship and that Harry and Draco's relationship is just a minor plot line made me laugh at them, I absolutely love Harry/Draco stories in fact I may even write my own once this one is finished.

Previously: _Harry drained the last of his coffee and pushed his empty plate away "Okay Kiddo's, that's two questions down and one to go, but lets get a move shall we as I have the afternoon shift with Sirius today." _

_Hermione looked down at her watch and it read 11:50am "oh shit! I promised Minerva that I'd meet her at 12 today regarding that ruddy Alumni Dinner and dance evening she insists on holding every year. I'll owl you with the final question tonight sweeties" then she stood up put her coat on, gave them both a hug and apparated back to Hogwarts for her meeting with the headmistress._

Chapter 8: Friendly Deception

Draco looked at Harry suspiciously "Okay Potter spill it!, we both know that you don't have work today as we were planning on having a lazy day together, so why did you just lie to Mione?".

Harry sat back in his chair looking very pleased with himself "Because lover we are going to play Fairy God Wizards. We are going to invite our godfathers and Remus over tonight under the pretext of watching the big quidditch match between the Pemberly Pirates and the Chudley Cannons, then we find out about their day over a few beers and after they tell us their big news that we obviously don't know anything about, we shall interrogate them ruthlessly over their favorite type of witch and what they would want from her in a relationship".

"But what does this have to do with Mione my love?" asked a slightly confused Draco.

"It has everything to do with her, as I have very good reason to believe that the 'old dungeon bat' has feelings for our little Mione. Honestly have you never noticed that when we all go out as a group he always watches her when he thinks no one is looking, plus the fact that it was him who encouraged Hermione to take the transfiguration post at Hogwarts straight out of wizarding uni even though with her grades and because of who she is, she could of walked straight into any number of jobs with more power and better pay anywhere in the wizarding world".

Draco took a moment to think about what Harry had said "So if you're correct in your assumptions then the reason old Sevie boy hasn't been in any serious long term relationships is because that he's secretly crushing on Hermione?".

"Yep" Harry replied "So tonight when they are sufficiently drunk, we casually let it drop that our sweet little Mione has a hot date later this week with an old friend of ours who's fancied her for ages, and when they ask for details we'll just tell them that she's sworn us to secrecy, but what we can tell them is that he's extremely intelligent, a noted master in his line of work and Hermione thinks he's hot".

Draco looked confused "But Harry she hasn't got a date, just that blind date thing" then he realized that this is was what Harry was talking about "Oh I get it, basically we tell them the truth just omitting a few minor details, and hopefully Severus will get jealous enough to reveal his true feelings. That's absolutely genius lover, you should have been put in slytherin you know because sometimes you are too sly for your own good".

He leaned across the table and throughly snogged Harry, when he eventually pulled away he saw a pair of emerald green eyes staring back at him filled with both lust and love.

Harry stroked his lovers face and smiled "I almost was but I decided that I wanted to be in Gryfindor, it was only later I realized my mistake when one morning in our seventh year I was at breakfast when a blond haired slytherin sex god walked in and I knew that no matter what it took I was going to have him. So back to the fairy Godfather plan, are you in?"

Draco didn't even need to think about it "Silly question of course I'm in, now lets get home and make sure those three muppets are coming tonight, so I can drag you back to bed for the rest of the afternoon". No sooner had the words left his mouth Harry had sent a worded message with Hedwig's son Aristotle (Hermione had named him) telling them to come to the house later that evening to watch the big game over beer and pizza, He then put his arms around Draco and apparated them back to their bedroom for an afternoon of uninterrupted fun.

A/N: Well considering this started out as a small paragraph at the end of the last chapter, those two just demanded that I made it longer, and who am I to argue with them.

As always thank you for reading and please review. XX

P.S I've snuck another sly reference to my all time fave novel in here, cyber hugs and chocolate to those eagle eyed readers who spot it. XX


	9. Crafty Cats

**Wizarding Blind Date**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing all rights and accolades belong to J K Rowling, she is only letting me borrow these wonderful characters.**

A/N: It's been a while since I last updated this story and it was only thanks to my lovely reviewer nette91 that I decided to dust off my old notes and give you all a new chapter, I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 9: Crafty Cats

Hermione stood before the stone gargoyles that guarded the head mistresses office "Elphaba" she smiled at the muggle literary reference, the stairway revealed itself and she proceeded to knock on the door, when she received the summons to go in she took a deep breath, and resigned herself for whatever the headmistress had in store for her.

"Good afternoon Headmistress" she said sitting in the chair being offered to her.

"Hermione you know by now to call me Minerva whenever we're alone."

Hermione resisted the urge to roll her eyes and thought "Especially when you have something up your sleeve you crafty old cat."

Minerva continued "Now then my dear as you know to help boost school funds we host a annual dinner and dancing evening for Hogwarts alumni, this year I would like to host it on New Years day. Now as well as the usual dancing I thought it would be nice if we included some entertainment by past pupils, I would like you to organize it as well as singing a couple of songs, if you could rope Harry in as well even better."

"I'm sorry Minerva but I can't do it, I can't sing in front of all those people."

"Oh pish posh my dear, everyone here knows what a talented singer you are, I won't take no for a answer."

"I'm sorry, I just simply haven't got the time since you've scheduled Hogsmeade trips to happen every fortnight instead of once a month, as I happen to be stuck on Hogsmeade supervision along with Hagrid this term not to mention my detentions and study groups." silently in her head she added "I do have a life outside of Hogwarts not to mention the show."

Minerva smiled with a Dumbledore style twinkle in her eye "Not a problem my dear girl you can switch terms with Sybil for the Hogsmeade visits and I believe our Headgirl Daisy Rastelli is more than capable to cover your detentions, now what do you think?"

Hermione smirked to herself the headmistress was a good negotiator but she was better, she smiled back at the headmistress "Okay Minerva I'll do it but with a couple of proviso's. One, I get out of Hogsmeade visits for the rest of the school year."

Minerva nodded "That seems reasonable."

"And secondly I want to be left out of the next ten events that Hogwarts hosts which includes participating in or organizing anything unless I specifically request to be a part of it"

"I will agree to three get out of jail free cards."

"I need at least seven Minerva to make up for the fact I'm singing in this one" she crossed her legs "Check" thought Hermione knowing that she would get her own way in the end.

"That's still a little high, how about we meet half way and agree on five"

"And mate" thought Hermione, after a couple of minutes of appearing to think it over she agreed.

"Excellent, by the why you'd put Severus to shame with those bargaining skills" said a delighted Headmistress. "Now lets fine tune some ideas, as I've already said I would like former students to participate ideally the more famous ones just so we can raise more money for the school, do you have anyone in mind?"

Hermione smiled she'd an idea that the headmistress was planning something like this so she was prepared "Well funny you should say that Minerva as I've already done a bit of planning already" she waved her wand and produced a large muggle folder filled with notes and different colored bits of paper.

Minerva smirked "Okay lets see what you have planned."

"Well I thought we could ask Neville if his band could provide the majority of the entertainment because if we put their names on the invites we can charge a little more, I can ask Fillius to charm their instruments to play at the start and during dinner, then they can provide musical backup for the acts and then finish with a short set of their own. Yes I will sing one song and perhaps a duet with Harry if he agrees, when we send the invites out I will include a form they can fill in if they want to perform."

Minerva thought about this "I like what you have planned so far, have you given any thought to decorations?"

"It should be kept simple with the Christmas decorations still being up, in fact seeing as most of the guests lived here for seven years of their life I think we should go for a more homely relaxed feel, lets make the dress code smart casual so it doesn't matter if people come in dress robes or in muggle outfits."

"Thats a brilliant Hermione in fact I've just had an idea instead of the round tables we normally use what about using the long tables we use everyday" said Minerva.

"What I'll do Minerva I'll draw up a plan and a guest list and get it to you by the end of next week as I want replies back by November and it's already middle of September now." She stood up, said her goodbyes and left for the sanctuary of her rooms thankfully not bumping into Remus or Severus on the way.

A/N: I hope this chapter is okay as I haven't thought about this story in a while, I promise next chapter will have more Blind date action, If anyone has any ideas for my third question please let me know. Xx

P.S. The poll on my profile page is still running for the name of Neville's band please check it out and vote. Xx


	10. Boys will be boys

**Wizarding Blind Date**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing all rights and accolades belong to J K Rowling, she is only letting me borrow these wonderful characters.**

**As always a big shout out to my fabulous beta ScarletQuill and her grammar stick.**

**I'm dedicating this chapter to my good friend and fellow author Third1965, I can't praise her wonderful writing enough. **

Chapter 10:Boys will be Boys.

Hermione left Minerva's office with her head in a spin due to the infernal third question, she slowly made her way to her rooms going over potential ideas in her mind and just as soon they popped in her head she immediately dismissed them for being too idiotic or unsuitable, before she'd realized where she was, she'd managed to end up at the entrance to her rooms just on autopilot.

She let herself in, dumped her stuff on her coffee table and was heading for the bathroom to have a long soak when an indignant hoot caught her attention, turning around she saw a pretty little barn owl sticking it's leg out for her to retrieve the letter.

As she took the letter the owl hooted again and bit her finger.

"Ouch!..Bloody bird." she swore glaring at the bird, as she unrolled the parchment.

_Hey Mione,_

_I'm in town one night only as the staff at the bloody international portkey office have gone on effing strike and quite frankly there's only so much testosterone a girl can stand (I know it's a great honour being the first girl on what's traditionally a male only team but it's like living with my brothers 24/7 without the luxury of mums cooking)._

_So get your glad rags on girl we're going out into muggle London for some hardcore dancing and drinking and if a couple of cute guys catch our eyes even better. I'm staying at that new hotel next to Gringotts, room 102._

_You've got till 8pm to get yourself all fancied up and if you don't come I'm going to go all Weasley on your skinny teachers ass._

_Love ya Ginny_

_(P.s. The bird bites)_

Hermione laughed at Ginny's letter and quickly penned her acceptance on the back of the same letter, a night out with her could be just she needed plus Gin was excellent at thinking outside the box. She tied the parchment to the bird's leg after sticking a large owl treat in it's mouth to stop it biting her.

After a long luxurious soak in bath Hermione began to raid her wardrobe for something suitable to wear_, _pulling out dress after dress but nothing seemed to be right "Stupid last minute plans, not giving a girl enough time to find a new outfit" she grumbled to herself as the pile of rejected clothes on her bed grew larger. Hermione finally decided on her favourite pair of black skinny jeans worn with a tight white vest before raiding her shoes closet to find her black peep toe stilettos that when combined with these jeans made her legs look longer than they actually were.

With her outfit finally sorted Hermione sat her dresser for a few moments just staring at her reflection before sighing and pulling out her make up bag from the drawer and emptying it in front of the mirror. Thirty minutes later Hermione had her hair and make up done and was now searching through her jewellery box looking for a particular pair of earrings when she realised that she'd left them at Harry's the last time she'd stopped over, looking at the clock she saw that she had just enough time to floo over to Harry's and grab her earrings before meeting Ginny.

She picked up her little trusty clutch bag that was charmed to match whatever she wore, strapped her wand to her inner arm and after checking that she had no lipstick on her pearly white teeth she threw some floo powder into the fire and shouted Harry and Draco's address, when the flames turned green she stepped neatly through.

"AND WHITLEY PASSES TO GREENE, WHO PASSES TO WICKHAM, WICKAM SHOOTS AND SCORES, CHUDLEY CANNONS ARE UP BY FIFTY POINTS, CAN THE PEMBERLY PIRATES CATCH UP?"

The noise from Draco's pride and joy (50'' plasma TV with built in surround sound) was absolutely deafening not to mention the fact there was five grown wizards shouting instructions at the telly.

"Throw the ball Moran, you idiot." Shouted Sirius throwing his empty bottle at the TV, which rebounded harmlessly off a hastily erected shield produced by Draco.

"Oi! Stop throwing things at my baby, you Neanderthal." Draco bellowed.

Hermione watched the men for a couple of minutes amused by the thought that wizards were no different from male muggles when under the influence of beer and sport.

"BERKERLY SEES THE SNITCH, HE DIVES...OOOOH THAT HAD TO HURT! BLUDGER TO THE FACE, HE WON'T BE KISSING HIS WIFE TONIGHT THAT'S FOR SURE."

"Stupid fucking wankerering referee how could he not call foul on that dirty play by that cheating fucking bastard O'Malley" ranted Harry gesturing his thoughts with matching hand gestures.

"Do you kiss Draco with that delightful potty mouth Harry?" Smirked Hermione, smacking him round the head as she walked around the back of the sofa.

"Don't worry I'm not stopping, I'm just here to pick up the earrings I left" Hermione told them as she walked up the stairs to the room she used when she slept over.

She'd only left the room for a few minutes but when she re-entered the living room, the telly had been paused and she now had Harry and Draco giving her the evil eye, the others were pretending not to notice what was going on.

"And just where do you think you're off to young lady? I thought you were busy marking papers tonight and thinking up difficult questions for impromptu tests." Questioned Harry with his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised.

"Well seeing as I wasn't invited to this little male bonding session, I got a better offer than the year threes papers on the effect of transfiguring animals into inanimate objects so I thought I'd take it and anyway two heads are better than one, Ginny's a natural at thinking up devious questions." Hermione replied while sneakily stealing Severus's bottle out of his hands and taking a long swig.

"Thanks Sevvie, I needed that" She said cheekily as she walked past him to get to the fire place.

"Impudent witch" He muttered reaching out and grabbing her wrist with his long pale fingers and pulling her firmly back to him. "Didn't your mother teach you that it's wrong to steal things that are not yours Hermione?" he said trying to get his drink back.

Hermione twisted her body against his trying to keep the beer out of his reach "Of course she did, but didn't your mother teach you to share, you selfish oaf?" She replied not seeing Draco and Harry exchange amused glances.

"Of course she tried but I didn't play well with other children, besides I'm bigger than you" he whispered against her ear.

Hermione just laughed and slipped her wand into her hand, hitting him with a silent tickling hex which caused him to release her. "I win again Severus, and as I've told numerous wizards in the past size isn't everything it's how you use it." she said with an exaggerated wink at him.

Severus scowled at her "I let you win, silly girl." his eyes flashing with admiration at her ability to best him.

"Gryfindor's win again, Severus you seem to be losing your touch old man." Teased Remus.

"What can I say? Victory makes everything taste better" Hermione said raising her bottle at the room and taking a long swig "And while I shall miss you all I have an evening of dancing, drinking and checking out good looking men because it's surely lacking here" She said with a shit eating grin on her face.

"Hey!" The five wizards shouted indignantly at her.

Hermione turned and activated the floo saying the address that would link her to Ginny's hotel. "I apologise Draco, you are cute but you're not my type and Harry to fancy you would be incest." Her eyes twinkling in amusement as she blew them a kiss and disappeared through the floo.

"When are you going to learn Severus? Never take on Hermione because she's as sneaky as any Slytherin I know and that includes you combined with the audacity of a Gryfindor" chuckled Harry "I'll go get everyone fresh drinks, Drake give us a hand" he said giving Draco a significant look.

"That witch needs her eyes testing I am definitely the best looking wizard here." Sirius informed them checking his reflection in a conjured mirror.

Leaving Severus and Remus to tease Sirius, Draco and Harry walked into the kitchen where Harry began beating his head against his marble worktops "That girl is going to be the death of me I swear."

"Harry stop, I don't know what your worrying about they've had this bantering for years it'd look odd if Hermione suddenly stopped just because she's realised that she wants to do the horizontal tango with him, besides you saw how much they both enjoyed that little physical altercation...Oh sweet Merlins sweaty balls I've just had the most horrific thought" Draco said his naturally pale face turning grey.

Harry stopped banging his head long enough to look at Draco "Are you okay?" He asked looking concerned.

"They're going to be at it like rabbits aren't they? The chemistry coming off them was undeniable, how we've missed it all these years is beyond me." Exclaimed Draco.

"Lets hope Ginny has some good ideas, because that show can't come soon enough if you ask me" replied Harry "We'd better get back in there because it sounds as if they're about to start beating their chests to prove who's the bigger witch magnet."

"Meh! Let them as far as I'm concerned you're the sexiest wizard here." Draco said pinching Harry's bum for good measure.

"You say the nicest things" Harry murmured against Draco's lips as he pushed him against the large fridge freezer, his knee inserting itself between Draco's denim clad thighs.

"Fifty points from Gryfindor for molesting my Godson Mr Potter" drawled Severus in his most disapproving teachers voice, smiling evilly at them as they both jumped apart with guilty looks on their faces.

"Damn it Severus when will you stop doing that? It makes me feel like I'm sixteen again" moaned Harry.

Severus smirked "Once it stops being amusing then yes, those two oafs in there want to start the match again and since I'm the one whose drink was rudely stolen I came to see what had happened to the refreshments."

I thought you let Hermione take it" Draco said slyly, causing Harry to bite his lip to stifle the laughter that was threatening to erupt.

"Shut up Draco" Severus snarled as he grabbed a drink from the ice bucket and stalked back to the living room.

Unable to contain his laughter in any longer Harry burst out laughing "Come on love, we'd better go and make sure that he doesn't hex anyone" Draco said grabbing the ice bucket.

"I'll be right there" wheezed Harry grasping his side to ease the pain from laughing so much.

"So you've fancied Snape all these years and you didn't realise until Harry and Draco made you enter Wizarding Blind Date?" Asked Ginny the pounding music making it impossible for anyone to hear them. "Not to mention the dirty fantasies about Remus and Sirius, Sirius is a bit of a horndog... I wonder if he's good at doggy style" she giggled loudly as she sipped her pink and green cocktail.

"You sly little witch you have a thing for Sirius!" Hermione exclaimed while nudging Ginny in her sides.

"Well I wouldn't kick him out of bed for farting that's for sure." Ginny replied just as Hermione took a mouthful of her drink, Ginny laughed hard and patted Hermione on her back as she choked on her drink.

The two witches were giggling uncontrollably when the sound of someone coughing to get their attention interrupted them, they wiped their eyes and looked up to see a gangly youth standing there.

"Excuse me but if I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me." He said while looking at Ginny's breasts.

Ginny flashed Hermione an evil grin as she whispered seductively in the poor boys ear "I'm way out of your league little boy, but if you're still interested at the end of the night I have a rather extensive collection of whips I could show you."

"Ah well maybe I don't have such a beautiful body after all" Chuckled Ginny as the lad went paled and hurried off back to his friends.

Hermione smiled in agreement watching the youth quickly disappear,"What am I going to do for the third question Gin? I just can't seem to think of one, and all the ones I do seem immature and childish..." She asked finishing the last dregs of fluorescent alcohol in her glass.

"I don't know off the top of my head but I do my best thinking while dancing, come on." answered Ginny grabbing Hermione's hand and pulling her into the middle of the crowded dance floor.

A/N: This wasn't what I originally had planned for this chapter but my muse and her minions (My rabid little plot bunnies) hijacked the chapter, I hope you enjoyed it.

With Love

Her Royal Goddess Xx


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